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  AN  hour's   play was left for draw of stumps.  From an ordinary

  250 for  5 , the batsmen had


  held   on   for about 30 overs without losing their  wickets..   Tom Klick   , the skipper  was at  first

 slip  scratching his head lost in thought  or so it seemed.   The  next ball was left by the batsman

without  attempting a shot ; the skipper got hold of the ball  and passed it to Tim Bannerman at short 

cover for onward to the bowler;  meanwhile Patrick  Lambert, the bowler had engaged the umpire,

" Say  Dick  is my delivery stride OK  or I am overstepping ?  At the other end   simultaineously

 Paul Crasto  fielding at short leg  approached the other umpire,   Steve  the weather is awful  today

we have to drink gallons of water  ; Yeah nodded the umpire, looking at him;  At the same time, Dick

Told Patrick,  You are OK but stay away from the danger zone;  This was all the time needed for

dexterous  Tim to give the ball a good scrub  with his hand  before passing it on to the bowler.

At the end of the over, the umpires were alerted  by the match referee,  to check the  condition of the

ball  ,report and then speak to Tim.   They stopped play and called Tim for a chat. ;



  SAY,  Tim  you scratched   the ball  didn't  you ?   Ofcourse, I did it Dick,  I am not in a church or

at a party,  WHATS  wrong in it ?  Steve, interceded, we mean the cricket ball  Tim;   No, not at all

rebutted  Tim,  You know its a hot day,  my hands were sweaty,  so I took out my hanky to dry

my  hands before,handling the cricket ball;  Oh,  I see said  Steve,   can we see whats in your  pant

pocket, ?    Oh sure said Tim,   " this is a pocket  knife,  "   WHY do you want that now asked

Dick, the other umpire;   Oh said Tim  its a talisman,  I always carry it  with me , ; you see I was

robbed and attacked said  Tim when young  so I always carry it with me . I am good at using it

too , so if anybody tries something funny with me, I will shove it up his a--  too said Tim .

 OHh  said the umpires, and what else  do you have asked Steve ?   Oh nothing except  my hanky

said Tim as he took out his hanky, and then out came a bit of sandpaper with it .


Whats that asked Steve ?  OH  Clara put this as a reminder to buy some handicrafts from this city ?

Now, now who is Clara  asked Steve?  My better half, said Tim   , you want to talk to her  and

confirm, what I said  then I will call her, she is in the pavillion . NO,  No,  replied Steve &

Dick;    But  Chief  would  definitely talk to you and your skipper  after play is over.


Now lets  get on with it ;  I mean the match   said Dick. 


There was a dramatic change in the fortunes of the match  and before play ended   the batting side

collapsed from a healthy 325 for 5 to 368 all out 


After  play the match referee  called Tom and Tim for a chat along with their manager Mike

Newman..    John  Boston, the match referee said "  Now Tom and Tim  the cameras

showed  clearly what you were upto ;  Tim  handled the ball with his hanky and we do not

know what else, and then the game changes dramatically.  Yeah,  I know you will tell me

that the umpires saw nothing wrong with the ball but the results speak otherwise.  so before

I give my decision do you have any comments to offer?

Tim said it was a sweaty afternoon, so I used the hanky otherwise you would have said

I polished the ball with my hands;

Sorry that doesn't hold water said the ref.  What about the paper scrap and knife?  I heard the crap

about Clara and the talisman .

Tom butted in to say  that nowhere do the match regulations say about carrying a knife in person

To which the ref  replied that the regulations do not have to say every thing and some are implied.

I fine both of you 100% of your match fees and warn you to be careful to not repeat these mistakes

 in future



Well,well,  we were lucky  and got away this time, said Tom to his team  after the cricket series 

was over.  That last  pitch was dead and flat and lifeless . I dont know who was the groundsman 

who prepared that pitch  I felt like using my pocket knife and removing his intex.  the  fu-----   bas----

said Tim.    Say Tom,  did you talk to Mike(  manager)  and tell him about the pitch ? 

Sure, I did , and he told me Sorry, nothing can be done about it .   Why , Why  chorussed  the team? 

Because of the huge money  we are paid for the match.  If we protest  and leave,  we lose the money 

G. Venkatesh 

   




















  

WHATS IN A NAME !

      KAASINATH   was born  as the youngest son  of  MUKUL PANDEY  in a middle class family

in BOMBAY.   He got the name because his parents made a pilgrimage  to Ganga river   and

BENARES ,for  wanting a son  after three daughters;.   Infant Kaasinath  initially studied  in

a Corporation  school . He was  a  meek and tender child; and accepted all the pranks played on him

by the children in his class.  There was a naughty bully in the class named Kedarnath and he would

swap his name   with Kaasinath  when the teacher called the roll call every morning, so much so that

Kaasinath  was known as Kedarnath in the school!  Kaasinath did not give much importance to the

 exchange, as he thought what's there in a name !


Years later, his parents  had a torrid time in getting his real name back, in the school leaving

certificate as the school head was adamant that the boy was known as Kedaarnath!

Later,  Kaasinath  joined a  convent school;  The head master  a  Parish  father, asked

his father the boy's  complete  name at the time of admission. beginning  with his caste name;

;thus his name got changed to   PANDEY  MUKUL   KAASINATH!

During his education, it was smooth sailing for the boy and his parents, as far as his name was

concerned.


It was after his education,  that  troubles began for Kaasinath  as far as his name was concerned.

While looking out for a job,  he had troubles when mentioning his name.  Prospective

employers gave importance to his caste name, while others to his name or his father's name.

Finally in the job he landed, .he managed to get his name first, so that in the organisation, he was

called  Kaasinath.  Kaasinath was a sincere  worker, his work was appreciated, and he grew up  in the

organisation.


With promotions and money,  came the bees,  ;  there were insurance  , bank  and other  broker

agents , who wanted  Kaasinath to invest  his money in their attractive schemes.  .

Kaasinath  willingly obliged,  and he was the owner of  several accounts.   however

he was careless in seeing how  his name  was spelt out in the accounts.  there were some with Pandey, ,

others with Kaasinathand a few too with Mukul as the main  name. Kaasinaath did not spend

sleepless nights  as he again  thought , whats there in a name! .


Then the Govt.  stepped in on the names .  The first shot was a Ruling  that  all income owners

must have  a " PAN CARD "  .  Here  came the first jolt,  to Kaasinath;  All applicants  if available

must produce a true copy of   their  school leaving  certificates  and the name mentioned there in

 will be taken as  a proof of their  names .  ; and so his name was taken as  Pandey  Mukul  Kaasinath

Then came the " Country  wide General ELECTIONS "  It  was ruled that " to vote one should  avail

of  an identity card " ;  Kaasinaath rushed to his nearest enrolling centre. .  The latter was manned

by  amatureish  freshers  . Kaasinath was  armed with his backup personal documents;

All the attendants  had time for  was to ask his name and his father's name.   After taking his

snap he was asked to collect his card on an appointed date . Kaasinath did so, and was shocked to see

his name  spelt out as " Kaasinath son of Mukul "

But, the biggest jolt to Kaasinath was when the Aadhar  scheme was announced.   At  first

Kaasinaath did not pay much heed as he thought it was only for those  who  availed of subsidies;

and in any case he did not avail of any.  But then came the bolt from the blue,  The Govt.

annouced that Aadhar must be availed of for all  dealings with State, be it a bank, payment  of tax

voting , what have you.  and a  closing  date  was fixed for  enrolment.

With a heavy heart,  Kaasinath  trudged to the enrolment  centre, only to be greeted by freshers.

once again  they asked him his name  and that of his father . After recording his fingerprints and

retina pictures,  Kaasinath received  an Aadhar Card,  and once again his name was given as

" Kaasinath son of Mukul "  The problems started for Kaasinath when he submitted his  Aaadhar

copy to all the institutions which held his finances.   Promptly  Kaasinath was told there was a

mismatch in his names with that on his Aadhar document.  and his only option was to accept

either his Aadhar    name or the  name in the financial document .   Kaasinath opted for the Aadhar

name, that  being the easier option; From that day, he was known as  " Kaasinath son of Mukul ! "


Much as Kaasinath  tried to dismiss the name mix up, he had to put up with his new name !

HE became the butt of jokes, within his friends among the business and social sections !

It had an effect on his work ethics,. He became moody sullen , and preferred to be left alone.

The change was noticed by his top superiors in  business.His top boss once called him to his cabin.

" SIT down, Kaasinath, told Mr. Das, to him ; of late you have become moody and aloof, is there any

pesonal  problem, bothering you .   Kaasinath broke down and sobbed like a child and told him about

his name problem .  Mr Das  consoled him and told him he would help out .  Very soon, Kaasinath

received a letter from the Govt. authorities . Kaasinath got back his original name and was smiling

once again !